Lost? Searching??
Sunday, October 17th, 2010Lost? Searching??
Are you lost? Searching?… I was, but maybe my experience can help you make sense of your own situation.
About me
I’m not someone who is easily convinced about anything and am of the philosophy if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. So first, let me give you a little information about myself.
I am in my forties, married with one child. I am employed as a Fire-Captain/Paramedic in a suburb of Chicago. I have been on the job for about 26 years. I tell you this because I think I am a pretty average normal guy and have at least been around the block once or twice – I hope! Eight years ago, if I would have heard someone say they were “saved” I would have thought they were some kind of religious freak. So, bear with me! If you have found this article, I now truly believe there is a greater reason you are reading it.
Who did I write this article for? Well . . .
First, if you are a bible scholar, then I am sure you will soon be painfully aware that you are not reading an article that measures up to your caliber. I am writing this for people who, maybe like I did, feel lost or feel as though something is missing in their lives. Also possibly, for the new believer who’s life has been affected or changed in such a way that they feel “compelled” to investigate this new conviction and need some direction.
This article isn’t for . . .
As I stated earlier, it is neither for the bible scholar nor for the debater or “my faith is better than your faith” person. I am an “average Joe” and offer this only for those people who find themselves in a situation similar to mine – 8 years ago. I am only equipped to defend my own position and beliefs. This is my personal story plus some helpful (I hope) advice – So now is the time to turn back if you think reading this will be too painful!
My Story
One morning, about 8 years ago, while I was driving to work, I was going through my usual routine of trying either to find a good morning talk radio show or music station with a song I wanted to hear. I came to a busy intersection and had to make a left turn into traffic to proceed on my route. Just before I made the turn, I pressed the scan button on my radio and it landed on a religious station. I remember thinking “Oh Brother”, and that “as soon as I make this turn I’m going to turn this nonsense off!” But, ‘something’ the guy who was talking said, caught my attention and I felt compelled to leave it on. The person who was speaking was Pastor Greg Laurie. I remember thinking this guy is pretty funny and also thinking most of what he was saying really seemed to make sense.
Let me back up a little at this point…
My wife and I had recently experienced tragedies that had either personally touched our lives or touched the lives of our close relatives and we had begun to question subjects like our life purpose, beliefs, and faith – or should I say lack there of it. Each day, listening to this guy (Pastor Greg) really hit home and I found myself really looking forward to hearing his show. On his broadcasts, he would share personal stories about his life and I learned that, compared to where he was now in his life, he had come from a very different path. He was very funny and presented his sermons on the level with no sugar coating. I was able to relate to a lot of what he said. Most of the guys I work with or my friends are straight talkers – no bull. And as I listened to this guy, I could tell he was giving it to me straight. Many times when I listened, I felt as though he was speaking directly to me. There would be sermons he presented discussing subjects or questions that were almost identical to the subjects and questions my wife and I had been discussing recently and often in just the previous night’s conversation. Many times, I would call my wife and tell her to turn his broadcast on and listen. I would say something like, “you’re not going to believe what Pastor Greg is talking about right now!” I also began to feel like I was starting to get some direction in my own life. There was a point at the end of each show where Pastor Greg would ask if the listeners wanted to say a “prayer” regarding a request. Well I always felt compelled from day one to do it, but I initially didn’t, mainly because of my previous faith background. Well one day at the end of one of his shows, I said the prayer and made the request that Pastor Greg stated. I repeated the prayer and it changed my life. Now there weren’t fireworks or lightening bolts, but a peace came over me, like a weight lifted off my shoulders and I knew in my heart that I had made the right decision. I also felt a wave of emotion that sort of took me by surprise.
I’m not Mr. Emotional mostly because of my upbringing. My dad – don’t get me wrong –is a good guy; he was a sergeant in the army and then in construction, but I don’t think he ever lost that sergeant thing! He always kind of ran our household like a mini boot camp and sayings like “I’ll give you something to cry about!” taught my brother and I early in life to “suck it up” and move on. But when I said the prayer and the first time I shared my story with a pastor at my church, it really got to me. I didn’t really understand it then, but I do now! As you grow in your faith, you too will increasingly understand the stakes involved and the cost of the gift offered to you.
Saved?….
For the new Christian, you have heard and should understand this term, but for the person who is searching, you may not understand this term or many of the other terms you will begin to hear. But hang in there, it will shortly become very apparent how many of these terms will apply to your new Christian life. That day, I repeated the prayer Pastor Laurie stated and I was saved. Now if you’re new or searching, don’t get nervous . . . just hang in there and keep reading, it will soon make more sense. There was no mystery and the prayer was all I needed to meet the requirements of being “Saved”. OK! Here was the context of what I said; I repeated: “Lord Jesus I know I’m a sinner, but I believe you died on the cross for me. I turn now from my sin and receive you as my Savior and my Lord and I choose to follow you from this day forward. Thank you for calling me and accepting me. In Jesus’ name I pray.” It was and IS that simple. I meant it from my heart! Meaning…everything in me told me it was right. I said it, meant it, and I felt relieved. As I stated, there weren’t fireworks or lightning bolts, but I felt a peace in my life, a relief. It changed my life.
It changed my life . . . . .
When I say it changed my life, I don’t mean it was immediate and I surely do not mean I picked up a sign, grew a beard and started yelling at people through a megaphone. But I do have to say that if today, I saw someone doing what I describe in that scenario, the bearded guy and megaphone, I wouldn’t think less of that person. Although it might not be the method I would use to get the message out, it might be the method someone else feels convicted to use and I wouldn’t think he or she were strange. Well, maybe she – with the beard thing – just kidding! In general, here’s how it did change my life. Instead of living a selfish life, pursuing my own desires, I started to try and live my life for others. Instead of trying to fill that gap in my life with financial pursuits, parties and the next “good time”, I started to look at what was really important in life.
As for God, I always believed in God, but I thought of Him as very distant from me. I thought of Him more like a Judge with a good and bad list. Each of our names headed a list and there were check marks in the bad and good columns of each person’s list. I always hoped that if my time came, that I would have enough checks in the good column and be able to “get in”. I felt that God was “up there” somewhere watching me and if I screwed up, he would shake his head and place a mark in the bad column of my list. If I did pray, it was half hearted or more along the lines of “if you can do this for me, I will never do that” or “remember when I did that ‘good deed’, now I need something.” It was often a bargain session, rather than true prayer. There was always a gap and I felt like I could never measure up, but I now know God has filled that gap. God made the ultimate sacrifice and provided the answer to that problem in His Son. I also learned that, to my surprise, God isn’t looking for the perfect person and he most often uses the “second string”, the common and many times broken man to accomplish his greatest work.
Many other things changed and continue to change in my life. Don’t get me wrong though. Does this mean that everything started to go great in my life and I became a “choir boy”? NO! I did get on solid ground and had a more clear direction. I made peace with God, but in some ways, my life got complicated. Overall my life has become more fulfilling and peaceful. I try, with God’s help, everyday to live for Him and others. Try is the key word here; if anyone tells you they are the poster child for the perfect Christian- you probably want to steer clear of them. I’ve heard it said and I
